HERE YOU CAN READ ABOUT MY LIFE JOURNEY, MY PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE AND WHAT BROUGHT ME WHERE I AM TODAY - HELPING PEOPLE TO GET BETTER AND FIND THEIR OWN WAY TOWARDS A LIFE WORTH LIVING.
I start with my personal journey.
MY LIFE STORY - MAYBE THERE IS SOMETHING HERE THAT CAN BE INSPIRING FOR YOU!
CHILDHOOD AND YOUNG LIFE IN MOLDOVA
I was born in Moldova (a part of Soviet Union back then) and grew up in a bilingual environment (Romanian and Russian speaking) and an ambivalent society and culture, with influences from both East (the Soviet Russia) and West (Romania - which we were part of until 1945 and the rest of the Western Europe). Already as a child I could feel the experience of being in between two worlds and two paradigms, challenging at times to preserve or even find/understand my own identity.
I met my husband when I was 19 and got married when I was 21.
ITALY - THE FIRST IMMIGRATION "ADVENTURE"
Me and my husband moved to Italy when we were 23. We were very young and therefore not able to understand or even imagine, the consequences of such a decision on the long run. We saw at as an adventure.
The immigration proces was very difficult. My husband had to travel without me, I came to Italy after one month. Only in Denmark, where I worked in the human trafficking field, I found out that I have myself been trafficked.
I know very well the feeling of being deceived, lied to and manipulated. Unfortunately I had to experience quit quickly in life moments of hopelessness, helplessness and stuckness.
The first couple of years we did not have legal residence which meant that we did not have a lot of possibilities, we were invisible. We had to put our dreams on hold. Only after we got our papers, could we start exploring the possibilities, finding our way in the system and building a professional life with work and education.
My son was born in 2010. What an exciting journey with magical moments and sometimes challenges. Part of the journey has been finding myself and healing from my own difficult childhood so I could be there for my son. I wanted to be a perfect mother, but fortunately I found that being a "good enough" mother is enough. I knew there were things I hadn't learned from my parents and when my son was 6 months old, I bought around 10 books about parenting. The one who kick started both my personal and professional development was "Your Competent Child" (Jesper Juul). It has a been a great help for me to understand myself and my child. I highly recommend it.
DENMARK - THE EXPERIENCE OF LONGING AND LOSS BECOME MORE CLEAR
One day, both for fun and for real, me and my husband talked about moving again. We entered into a three-year preparation process to move to Denmark. This time was different - we had a child, we had different expectations and clear ideas about what we wanted and why we were moving - there was even more pressure on us to succeed than when we moved the first time.
We moved to Denmark, Copenhagen in August 2015. I didn't realize back then, but I experienced a culture shock. Denmark is much more different than Italy, compared to my own culture. I wasn't aware that moving can also bring about a crisis. Even though it felt like the right decision, loss, grieving and longing, and sadness were part of that process and I had to learn to respect those feelings and invite them into our home, at the table, as continues friends that will probably be there through all our life.
While I had to learn to fit in, integrate, learn a language and a culture, understand what was expected of me, I also had to support my child, who was starting an institution for the first time. Our lives as a family and as a couple were turned upside down, and we didn't expect that.
After the initial crisis, things slowly got better - we made friends and had new opportunities in our working lives. After the first 2-3 years, we felt like we could finally relax and start enjoying the new life we had created for our family.
MY RELATIONSHIP - A THREAD AND FOUNDATION IN MY LIFE
I give a special place to my relationship because it has always been the foundation, the safe net for both of us and for our family. I know how important and enriching a healthy relationship can be; therefore, I choose to work with couples.
I have been with my husband for nearly 25 years. We have experienced two relocations, had a child, and supported each other through challenges, both as a couple and in our personal and professional journeys. But it hasn't been easy and without a price.
We have faced crises and have learned the hard way why it is important to prioritize the relationship. With our history, it has been easy to prioritize work, parental roles, practical matters, and survival, while neglecting or even forgetting our intimacy and emotional needs. Sometimes, we ended up living parallel lives without realizing it.
I have learned that longing and yearning, helplessness, and giving up are part of the process of being together. There were times when we both felt lonely, dissatisfied, and not good enough in our relationship.
An important lesson has been to be together in the difficult times instead of trying to fix everything. Especially for me, an important learning has been to grieve what I did not get and probably will not get in my relationship because I chose and still choose (sometimes everyday) to stay with my husband.
It is hard work to find each other again, to continuously choose actively to be together, and to appreciate what we have created and share. But it is necessary, enriching, and valuable. I have learned that personal development and responsibility are part of the work in a relationship.
Of course, we still have conflicts, and we cannot avoid them; we do not want to avoid them. They are part of getting to know each other, expressing our needs, boundaries, and desires. We know we can handle them, and we know we care about each other.
MY LIFE TODAY
All the decisions I have made have come at a cost – both good and bad. It has been necessary, educational, and has brought me to where I am today.
As a 45-year-old woman, I am now at a stage in my life where I can look back and value everything I have achieved. I can feel and take responsibility for the choices I’ve made and the consequences they bring. I know that longing, loneliness, and the need to belong are part of my life.
But I can also look forward. A sense of calm has settled in, along with inner grounding and enjoyment, a balance between work and private life, awareness of my own boundaries, and priorities in life. I know that I am living the life I want. I still have dreams and projects with my family and in my professional life, and I look forward to everything that lies ahead.
I'm happy to meet for a cup of coffee/tea if you're curious, want to get to know me, and want to talk about my journey and experiences – both here in Denmark and as an expat – privately and professionally. If you think it might help you find your way on your own journey, you're very welcome to contact me!
MY WORK JOURNEY AND PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT
LAW IN MOLDOVA
My professional journey began with studying law where I come from – Moldova. Right after my studies, I worked as an assistant lecturer at Moldova's State University, where I taught comparative constitutional law in English.
At that time, I dreamed of becoming a lawyer.
PEDAGOGY, EDUCATION AND FAMILY COUNSELING IN ITALY
In 2003, I moved to Italy with my husband. I realized that the only way I could continue with law was by studying it again. After some consideration, I decided to change direction and pursue a Bachelor's degree in pedagogy.
While studying pedagogy, I had my son. I became curious about raising children and parenting. I reflected on how I was raised in my own family, and became aware of the great responsibility that I had as a parent. I bought several books, one of which was "Your Competent Child" by Jesper Juul. It is no exaggeration to say that this book changed my life and initiated a process – both personally and professionally – that has brought me to where I am today.
I discovered that Jesper Juul was a Danish family therapist, educator, and author, one of the founders of the Kempler Institute and later the Danish Family Therapy Institute. Furthermore, he had established Family Lab – an international organization working with parent counseling and courses for both families and professionals.
I attended an 8-day course to become a part of Family Lab Italy. During this process, I also completed my Bachelor's degree in pedagogy, with the thesis titled "Children and Parenting – Based on Jesper Juul's work."
In the last two years in Italy, I worked as a consultant for Family Lab Italy. I organized theme workshops for parents on relationships and parenting, facilitated group sessions with parents, and engaged in networking to spread Jesper Juul's knowledge about children's well-being and parenting.
I knew I wanted to continue studying. I was already interested in psychotherapy, but not just any kind — I wanted to study exactly family therapy at the Danish Family Therapy Institute (DFTI). So, in 2012 when we decided to move abroad again, DFTI was one of the key reasons why we chose Denmark as our next destination.
SOCIAL WORK AND PSYCHOTHERAPY IN DENMARK
I moved to Denmark in 2015. I didn't have a clear idea of what I wanted professionally. But life worked it out for me — and I received a recommendation to contact Reden International and become a volunteer there. I did so, and thus began my journey in the social field, which I love and am passionate about to this day.
Over time, I became a substitute/temp and then a permanent employee as a social worker. I have been there for 3 years and have worked with women who have been victims of human trafficking forced into prostitution and forced labor. I had the opportunity to develop my relationship skills through working with one of the most vulnerable groups of ou society, but also learned about and gained experience with trauma, attachment, violence, etc. Furthermore, I could use my language skills — English, Romanian, Italian, and Russian.
In 2018, I started my studies to become a psychotherapist with the specialization in couples and family therapy at DFTI. I knew I wanted to change jobs and find something that would give me the opportunity to gain experience working with families. I got a position as a family counselor at Memox and later as a family counsellor in Høje-Taastrup Municipality. Here, I worked with many vulnerable families facing complex issues such as conflicts, abuse, trauma, institutionalization/placement of the kids in foster care, neglect, mental health disorders, etc., and various family structures, e.g., families with young children and/or teenagers, bonus/patchwork families, divorced families with high conflict levels, and more.
I collaborated with the Den Miljøterapeutiske Organisation for 1.5 years and was a substitute/temp at their residential facilities for children who have been taken away from their families due to either parental issues or children's diagnoses and challenges. That experience has been important for me to understand the challenges that substitutes/temps face in relation to the work they do to help vulnerable people, in this case - children and young adults.
I have always dreamed of being self-employed. At the end of 2022, I took the chance, quit my job, and from January 1, 2023, I established my own practice.
MY WORK LIFE TODAY
There are two paths in my life that I value highly and work within — psychotherapy and social work. A common thread in all my work with people is relationships. The relationships we have in our lives are incredibly important and are crucial for our mental health and well-being.
As a psychotherapist, I welcome individual clients, couples, and families in my practice in Copenhagen, Vesterbro area and online. Additionally, I collaborate with Reden as a psychotherapist for women who have experienced human trafficking and who need support.
As a consultant in social work, I offer workshops to NGOs, residential facilities, shelters, and other places that help particularly vulnerable and at-risk people (f eg homeless people, women victims of abuse and others). The workshops are primarily offered to the volunteers and temps that are working in these organizations.
Read more about therapy here.
Read about workshops here.
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