Why choose therapy
Welcome! Here you can read about the help you can get from me, the way I work and how to contact me.
For individual therapy click here.
For couples therapy click here.
For family therapy click here.
More about me click here.
About the prices click here.
Text me: +45 50 21 47 44
Mail me: kontakt@elenatiulenevpsykoterapi.com
Book a free, non-binding conversation her:
I am a psychotherapist and family counselor. I currently live in Copenhagen, Denmark. I offer individual- , couples - and family therapy in my private practice in Vesterbro (near Central Station in Copenhagen). I also offer individual and couple therapy online. In case of young people with anxiety/depression that are isolating themselvs from the world, I can come to your home - read more here.
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Individual therapy - reconnect to yourself
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Maybe you have a lot of worries.
Maybe you have many ambivalent feelings inside and it feels like an inner chaos everyday.
Maybe you are in a difficult relationship and it's hard to get out of it.
Maybe you spend most of your days being afraid and anxious of the outside world, which feels dangerous.
Maybe you have a feeling of helplessness, want to give up, feel stuck, cannot fight anymore.
Maybe you feel lonely, even when surrounded by people.
Maybe you struggle to survive through the day and dream to thrive but don't know how to.
Maybe you feel that you don't live the life you want to.
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If some of this resonates with you, you can consider trying therapy.
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What can you get from therapy:
- more insight on how your relationship with yourself and others is connected to your childhood and the way you learned to be in relationship with your caregivers,
- awareness over self destructive strategies that don't allow you to live the life you want,
- courage to change some of the strategies,
- reconnection to who you are, your boundaries, your dreams,
- courage to say no and choose yourself,
- a healing proces for your traumatizing experiences
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What can we work with:
- stress
- childhood trauma
- shame and guilt
- grief
- shifting emotional states and helplessness
- inner chaos and discomfort
- depressive and anxious inner states
- addiction and addictive behaviour (work, Netflix, training, food, etc)
- low self esteem
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If you are interested, but still in doubt whether I am the right therapist for you, book a free conversation her.
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Couples therapy - you and me together
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Couples therapy is for you and your partner who long for presence, authentic dialogue and active listening. We work together to create a safe place where you can accept each other's differences as well as share loneliness and vulnerability. In couples therapy you have the opportunity to check in on how you are experiencing each other and your relationship here and now.
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Challenges like a busy everyday life, becoming parents, life crises (death, mental illness, change of a job or moving to another country) can drive us away from each other. Longing for connection can result in criticism, accusations and shaming between partners.
Becoming parents is a huge change for ourselves, our family life and the relationship with our partner. Our children are doing well and thrive if we, as adults, thrive. A large part of our well -being comes from our relationship with our partner so it's essential to take care and make space for it.
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Whether you experience crises in your relationship or you just want to tune in to each other - couples therapy is a good opportunity to do that.
You can try the so called "couple - check" session. It's like taking your car to maintenance once in a while - the same with the partner relationship - don't take it for granted - it needs maintenance.
If you are in doubt or have more questions or, just want to meet be, before booking a therapy session, book a free non binding conversation. Let's meet each other!
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Testimonials from my clients
Kim og Katrine, couples therapy
"We have been so pleased with our sessions with Elena.
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We couldn't agree on whether we should have a third child, and we had ended up in an argumentative cycle that just didn't add any value to our relationship. Elena provided us with constructive tools and a space where the issue could be discussed without focusing on the outcome, and it was truly helpful.
It sounds really simple, but we learned to listen to each other in a completely different way than we were used to.
If we find ourselves facing communication challenges in our relationship again, neither of us will hesitate to contact Elena."
Anonymous, individual therapy
"1. What challenges did you have before you purchased therapy sessions with me?
I was feeling emotionally burn out and having difficulties making decisions.
2. What is the most significant change that the therapy sessions have brought to you?
More awareness and space to my emotions which is helping me lead a happier and more balanced life.
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3. What specific things have you gained?
Insights into myself and my past and how this affects me, tools to allow myself to feel my emotions.
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4. What has it given you personally?
Validation that my emotions and feelings are okay and that I am okay just the way I am. AHA moments about my past and how this affects my present.
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5. Whom would you recommend psychotherapy? And why?
Yes. I think everyone would benefit from psychotherapy as you gain a better understanding of yourself and your behaviours and it helps you grow and become a better version of yourself."
Mihaela, individual therapy
"I just wanted to leave this here for all those who do not have the courage yet to confront themselves through therapy.
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I met Elena 4 years ago, and I decided to give therapy a chance, being 100% sure, I have nothing to discover about myself and there is nothing to be “treated”. I perfectly remember all our 8 sessions, crying my soul out, but from the very first one, I started to identify new themes for the next ones, being sure we’ll meet again.
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Elena knew when and how to make me feel and discover all the emotions I stored in my body, accepted my vulnerability, thus becoming stronger. It was a bumpy road, but I have a smile on my face every time I remember the journey Elena went along with me. Even exposing myself here while leaving this feedback is the result of a tremendous work me and Elena accomplished through therapy.--"
Anonymous, individual therapy
1. What reservations did you have before you started therapy and that could have prevented you from seeking therapy with me (or what were you most concerned about before you purchased)?
Afraid, vagueness, confusions...
2. What challenges did you have before you purchased therapy sessions with me?
Difficulty to trust
3. What is the most significant change that the therapy sessions have brought to you?
Reflections and redirection
4. What one thing do you think has been the most fantastic about therapy? What has given you the biggest AHA moment?
Guidance
5. What specific things have you gained?
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Moving forward and to take challenges along the way.
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Mette og Niels Christian, couples family and family therapy
"Elena quickly grasps the dynamics within our family.
She understands our parenting styles and has taught us how to navigate situations and support our child when facing challenges.
She offers insights on how we can better understand each other and asks questions that encourage us, as a couple, to open up about aspects of ourselves that might explain our individual behaviors.
This has helped us gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and each other.
Elena is nonjudgmental and open-hearted. She maintains a calm, attentive presence and allows ample time for us to express ourselves.
Therapy sessions with Elena create a safe space, both for our family and as a couple."
Ludmila, individual therapy
1. What reservations did you have before you started therapy?
I was most concerned about the fit with a psychologist. I wanted to understand the reason behind persistent thoughts, worries, reactions. And I feared it might be the kind of session where you spin around, tell your story, but don't learn anything or clarify.
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2. What challenges did you have before you purchased therapy sessions with me?
I felt like I was approaching a crisis, or perhaps I was already in that crisis. Comparison: almost daily scanning of things that other people do better.
I had a feeling of 'too much.'I felt exhausted, overwhelmed. I was insecure. It was difficult for me to make decisions, constant doubts…
I wanted to find out who I am and how to become a person who doesn't look around at others, who is happy with the everyday life
3. What is the most significant change that the therapy sessions have brought to you? What has given you the biggest AHA moment?
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I try with more attention to observe the reaction around me and my reaction. When I become defensive, when not. I want to understand more - what are the mechanisms and how can I notice more when I or someone reacts because they're triggered.
I hope I've become a little better with myself and others.
The most fantastic thing was feeling understood. What I said and felt seemed to make sense, to matter, but most importantly, it was something that could be solved.
The most wow moment was when I understood and felt how connected vulnerability is, shame, our ability to set limits and say enough.
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4. What specific things have you gained?
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I have found out that a big part of the fundamental problem was that I couldn't define my limits, I couldn't say no.
I got a reference system that I can use in some situations. What triggers me most? How should I react? How can I recognize those?
When Elena gives me an example with an explanation, about how a pattern from childhood shaped my thinking and how that connects to me with shame (or perfection, or the inability to say no), that helps me a lot…
A little bit of hope. Elena is good at giving both courage and encouragement. The most daunting thing about doubting yourself and whether things will get better is ....belief and hope.
Alessandra, individual therapy
"My experience with Elena is my first in therapy. From the very first day, she made me feel comfortable and gave me space, both to express my thoughts and emotions, as well as my silences.
She helped me connect the past with the present and understand who I really am.
Therapy is a long and winding journey, and Elena is a fantastic guide and companion along the way."
“La mia esperienza con Elena è la mia prima in terapia. Fin dal primo giorno, mi ha messa a mio agio e mi ha dato spazio, sia per esprimere i miei pensieri e le mie emozioni, che i miei silenzi.
Mi ha aiutata a collegare il passato con il presente e a comprendere chi sono davvero.
La terapia è un percorso lungo e tortuoso, ed Elena ed una fantastica guida e compagna di viaggio.”
Anonymous, individual therapy
1. What reservations did you have before you started therapy and that could have prevented you from seeking therapy with me?
For me it wasn’t easy to talk about certain things as I’m not used to and I was not sure how you (Elena) ’ll understand my complicated emotions.
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2. What is the most significant change that the therapy sessions have brought to you?
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I was able to confront myself to the reality … basically it helped me to accept the things as they are.
3. What one thing do you think has been the most fantastic about therapy? What has given you the biggest AHA moment?
I felt you (Elena) were dedicated not only formally but also emotionally, which helped me to show my vulnerable side.
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4. What has it given you personally? (e.g. confirmation, AHA moments, certainty, security, focus, overview)?
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Personally I got confirmation about my certain emotions.
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5. Whom would you recommend psychotherapy? And why?
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I would recommend psychotherapy to the people who struggle with their emotions or unexplainable thoughts.
Family therapy - love is the driving force for change
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When a family member is not doing well, then the whole family is affected. In practice this means that, if f eg. a parent is stressed or has a life crises, even if no one else in the family knows that everyone can feel it, both the kids and the other parent (they can see it in the way the parent behaves, reacts and interacts with the rest of the family).
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What will you get from family therapy:
- a so called "family - check" - how do we feel in this family, how it is to be a member of this family
- the possibility to learn to talk about difficult things, emotions and experiences that hurt
- the opportunity to manage negative conflicts in a different way
- training to pay more attention on the "how" you do things
- learn to integrate the differences of experience and emotions when being together - we can have a different experience of the same situation and still be together, we can have different needs and boundaries and still respect each other and be together.
- awareness regarding the transition from child to teenager - the grief proces that accompanies this transition - both for the children and for the parents.
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Children in the therapy room:
Usually we think that if we don't talk with our children about the difficult challenging situations that maybe don't directly concern them, then we protect them. Such situations can be - someone in the family died, the parents decided to divorce but don't have all the practical details yet, a sibling got a diagnose, a family member has a mental illness, etc.
It really has the opposite effect. Our children feel that something is wrong but don't have the ability to make sense of what they feel inside and to make the connection to what is going on outside. They can see that the parents are worried f eg, but they don't know why. The children themselves can feel fear, sadness, worry, but if no adult helps them to put into words what they might feel and make the connections, then the children are left alone with their feelings. Not knowing how to make sense of the situation, they often end up thinking that it is their fault.
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In the therapy room the children get to experience that parents are helped to take responsibility for their own feelings/thoughts/actions and for the atmosphere in the family. As a result the children will relax and go back to being children. Children get the experience of being seen and taken seriously by another adult and that the parents get help to see the child.
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Children are often symptoms of dysfunctional conflicts and interaction in the family. Bringing the children into the therapy room helps me observe the dynamics between all the members and direct the therapy towards what the parents need to change, learn, do differently, and, in that way, assume leadership and responsibility. The parents can train a different way of being in contact with their child, during the therapy session, here and now .
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Parent counseling:
In some situations parents need more guidance and concrete counseling regarding specific problematic issues. In this case, family therapy can be combined with counseling for parents. These situations can regard f eg:
- recurrent conflicts in the rush hours - typically in the morning when everybody is in a hurry to get to work/school, in the afternoon or when going to bed
- conflicts during family meals - about kids that don't want to eat or/and uncomfortable atmosphere
- difficulty to say no and situations when parents experience that the children don't listen
- conflicts between siblings
- looking at the families everyday life and structure - is it clear and predictable enough - which is important for all children, but especially for the children that have been diagnosed with ADHD or/and autism
- specific examples of communication.
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For the young (aged 13-25) and their families
There are many young people (aged 13-25) that experience states of depression and/or anxiety and isolate themselves from the rest of the world in their room, at home. I have experienced that this can be a challenge for getting the right help, because it's nearly impossible for the young person to come to the psychotherapist/psychologist and to get help.
If you are one of the families who have a young/teenager at home who struggles with coming/going out, then I can come home to you. Our first sessions can take place in your home, in order to start the therapy process, and then find out what kind of help you need as a family and how to get it. The result of it can be that your child can regain the energy, courage and strength to come to the therapy room.
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You can book a free non-binding conversation, if you are in doubt and want to know more, by clicking on this button:
Shortly about me
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Moldova
I was born in Moldova in 1980. After graduating high school I studied law at the Moldova State University. Afterwards I taught Constitutional law as an assistant lecturer for one year at the same university.
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Italy
At the age of 19 I met my husband and in 2003 we moved to Italy. In Italy I studied science of education. When my son was born in 2010, I became interested in family relationships and how the way I was raised, could influence my parenting skills. I took a course in parenting counseling and became member of Family lab Italy - an organization that is part of Family lab international Association, created by the Danish family psychotherapist Jesper Juul. As a member I have been working with individual-, family and group counseling. I was also organizing theme - workshops and participating in events to spread the work we were doing.
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Denmark
In 2015 I moved to Denmark together with my family. I started as a volunteer at Nest International, an organization that helps and supports foreign women trafficked into prostitution. After a few months I was employed there as a social worker and worked there for about 3 years. Meanwhile I was getting more and more interested in working with families. I started my education as a psychotherapist and family therapist at the Danish Institute for Family Therapy in 2018.
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In 2019 I started working as a family counselor in Memox, an organization that offers different kinds of family help/counseling packages and collaborates with the communes in the field of Child protection and family counseling. In 2020 I got employed as a family counselor in Høje Taastrup commune, continuing working and helping families and children.
In the past three years I worked with socio-economical vulnerable families that have complex problematic issues like childhood trauma, physical and psychological abuse, substance abuse, divorce and high conflict collaboration between parents, one or both parents with mental illnesses and multiple diagnoses, children with depression/anxiety/eating disorders/OCD etc.
From 2023 I became independent and I am mow focusing on my private practice offering psychotherapy for individuals (young and adults), couples and families.
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As you can see I have traveled and lived in a few countries, I have beed inspired and I have integrated different cultures and have been through different challenges. Related to that I consider myself a citizen of the world and privileged that I had the opportunity to experience life in different ways.
I am both professionally and personally familier with the challenges of being "an outsider" but feeling "an insider" - an in between systems and cultures, with the need and wish to re-invent myself professionally and grow and develop personally.
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How I work - my focus
I focus on creating a safe environment where you can feel your emotions and body sensations, become aware of your inner thoughts and voices, give place to all the reactions that come and afterwards welcome new experiences of yourself. We create change together.
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I don't fix and don't come with quick solutions. I help you to find your own way. I see internal states like depression, anxiety, eating disorders, OCD as symptoms and I am not focusing on making them disappear. Together we will look at the causes, will be curious about what these symptoms want to tell us and will work through it. The focus on the symptom can get a short term relief, but if the cause is not addressed, then the symptom will reappear in the same way or under another symptom.
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The fundament of my work is - presence and human contact here and now, humbleness and equal dignity in the meeting with you and your family, authentic and curious dialog, because you are your own expert and the expert on your family, you are the expert of your life - I am only a humble witness.
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High ethics and professionalism is very important to me. I am a member of the Danish Psychotherapeutic Association as a guarantee for the quality of my education and I follow their guidlines for ethical requirements needed for working as a therapist.
Contact
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If you are interested in getting in contact with me, you can text me at: +45 50 47 44 or mail me at: kontakt@elenatiulenevpsykoterapi.com. You can also fill in the formular here on the website.
I usually get back within two days.
You can also book a free non-binding conversation by clicking the button below: